Posted by: kentauros | July 21, 2013

The Pull

There’s a beautiful painting/illustration of a centauress I found recently (“Horsegirl” Waldemar-Kazak) that you might not think would be all that appealing to someone normally considered peaceful. Yes, she’s sporting a gun that she’s even reaching for, and, if the title is anything to go by, she’s a wanted criminal. Or, the title just means she’s wanted for other reasons, including beauty, or toughness. The artist doesn’t really go into any of that.

What it does for me is primal, at least to my sense of Centaurkin. There have been some other images lately to do that as well (“Centaure” by Beatrice Tillier, Melissa Greene Centaur Commission by Peng-Peng) for those that come to mind immediately. Sure, they’re all female, though there have been stallions to bring forth that pull as well (Galen of Kentauroi, centaurs of Arnold Böcklin.) Intuitively, my guides have strongly suggested I meditate on this subject again, though I haven’t yet done so. Battling a flea invasion (though they’re mostly gone now) has taken most of my time and energy, so even the short venture into that centaur-land of the mind hasn’t been taken. Writing this is another acceptable means they suggested, so here I am.

The pull is more to that world, those centaur-realities, than it is to me being one here. I’ve certainly had those feelings, as well as what others call “phantom limbs.” That only ever seems to take form as the whole body, so perhaps my connection to being a centaur is complete when it happens.

One reason that comes to mind for this happening is another aspect I’ve read termed “homesickness.” I can relate to that in this case. It was stronger a few days ago than now, yet those feelings remain. I long to be in any of those realities, and yet, I love this life, too. I know I can’t get to them except by meditation and dreams, so I make do with what I’ve got.

This particular incident has been the strongest yet, though I know it fades with time. I don’t really know what it means to have this happen. I can’t get to that reality except mentally and spiritually, so I’m not sure what purpose this serves. I guess I’ll find out when I next meditate into that reality. Maybe Hans and Asrial have something to tell me I can’t get with my waking connection to them. If I find out anything I want to share, I’ll post it here. In the meantime, I will be getting back into meditating as it does help overall.


  1. How interesting. I really, really like that first painting, I added it to my favourites on DA. But the rest of your post was very thought provoking. This is an idea I’m not really familiar with, the desire for or the longing towards fantasy realms/creatures. I tried to put myself in your shoes and imagine what it must be like to be a centaur, to feel the desire myself, to actually /be/ a centaur. It was an interesting thought experiment. In any case, thank you for sharing, and I hope you have lots of luck in your meditations.

  2. Thank you for the reply and for reading.

    I think most would understand where I’m coming from by reading my first few posts. However, they are “epic-length”, unlike how I’m trying to write posts here these days. Most people don’t want to read 2000 words or more in a blog post, so I’m trying to keep things brief now.

    I don’t expect most people to believe what I’m sharing here, so maybe it comes across as good fiction instead. I do consider my experiences as helpful in writing fantasy, so there’s that.

    And I read your most recent post on your blog. I hope your manuscript gets picked soon. In the meantime, have you ever read J.Konrath’s blog ( He writes about writing and self-publishing (ebooks.) I enjoy his blog, but I know it’s not for everyone.

  3. I have experienced “The Pull” you refer to. I, too, find it frustrating to deal with a desire I cannot realize on this plane. The concept that anything you can think of is real in some way–on another plane, as a parallel life, across the universe, etc–has given me a small semblance of succor when I find living on Earth Plane to be very much less desirable and, in fact, almost foreign; As if this life is the fantasy and the one I’ve so consistently longed for since childhood is where I truly belong, as if a strong part of my soul calls to me to return to a life I would vastly prefer. I find many aspects of my earthbound and egocentric character to be heavily influenced by this belief that I exist in a more profoundly pleasurable existence beyond the limits of this one.

    Some would, no doubt, believe that this centauric obsession of mine is a sign of a deep seated escape from “reality” and akin to a mental illness. Let those who never question this existence or who are never haunted by a different concept of existence say what they may. I am not looking for converts to a cause, but association with others who are aware and open to expressing this aspect of their spiritual being.

    Thanks for your blog and the posts that cause me to examine more closely my personal philosophy of this life and the other one that demands my attention so frequently.


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