Posted by: kentauros | April 21, 2012

Immersion


This “fascination” I have for centaurs has been on my mind of late. No matter how much I analyze, justify, or validate it, I still find it odd. Not in a bad way, although I have sometimes wondered if I could ever go too far, and lose my anchor in reality. That’s probably just a fear, whether I’m justified in having it or should learn to let it go.

I have been working on letting go of some fears lately. What with my use of the Monroe Institute Gateway Experience CDs, and the fact that one of them is specifically for the letting go of fears. I have not yet used that particular session to let go of this fear that I could slip into a fantasy surrounding the centaur. I’ve fantasized about that form and reality often enough in my past that I shouldn’t have to worry about “losing it” over this. However…

Yeah, there’s always that “but, maybe—”

I think that one of the reasons this fear has popped up is that I’ve been doing some of the Gateway sessions from the perspective of being a centaur. I know it’s not true to form in some of the relaxation aspects. That is, feeling the relaxation of a body that isn’t there is a challenge to imagine and remain focused upon, and I know I’m not truly feeling that. I find it more of a fun exercise, and one I don’t do every time. The idea behind it was brought on by an essay I have started and only written about a paragraph. Its premise is what my thoughts and such would be were I (and many others) turned into centaurs, without the subsequent societal problems likely associated (prejudice, fear, hate, and even obsessive attraction as with famous people.)

I don’t know if I’ll go back to it or not. Its original purpose was to explore the body and life of a centaur without really any plot. It probably would do well as an essay, if I can keep it relatively short. Then again, looking back over my blog entries, “short” never seems to come into play!

My feeling now on this is that these are just odd mental exercises I go through periodically. It’s taken me several days just to write this entry, due mostly to having an employment interview in between. That kind of knocked me back into “reality” for a time. And yet, when I went out late-night grocery shopping last night, I spent most of the trip to and from talking to myself and through what I would write on the essay (I dropped the self-conversation once I got out of the car, forgetting it until the shopping was done.) Even so, I didn’t write any of that down. I trust I’ll remember enough or all I really need is the gist to describe the rest. That’s often how my other fiction-writing works, even when I have mental conversations with the characters or detailed visualizations of events and scenes.

Some years ago, I managed to get a couple of questions read to and answered on the air with Hay House Radio for Doreen Virtue’s show. She had just released her first book of fiction and my questions were picked for airing. I don’t recall one of them now, but the other asked if she ever allows herself to be “lost” in her story or characters. To me, immersing one’s self isn’t a bad thing, as it really allows for that world to come through. However, her answer was that it wasn’t a good thing to do, to always keep some semblance of detachment when writing. I know I didn’t really agree with that then, and I still don’t.

Despite my earlier admission of fearing this above, I do think I don’t need to be so fearful after all. My mind seems perfectly able to detach if it feels I’ve gone “too deep” and I let it go for a while. Sometimes, though, getting back into that immersion is difficult. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again. Maybe the next thing I need to post is techniques for immersion. That could be fun. I think I’ll do that and post again soon.

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Responses

  1. You are not alone alot of people try on different persona’s to express different aspects of their personalities. Look at D&D for instance.Thats where I fleshed out “Howler” Who actually is a working ans

  2. And Real part of my makeup just like I feel the centaur is for you!
    Werewolves,centaurs,…..Its all good!!!!!
    P.S sorry about the extra post My computer locked up on the typeing of that first message.

    • No problem about the extra post. The more the merrier! 🙂

      Interesting that you do D&D. I got into that back in the mid-70s and on into the 1990 (and a little in the 00s.) I haven’t gamed in ages, but did get to play a centaur character a couple of times. The gaming systems in the “old days” weren’t set up for anything but humanoid player characters, so I never got to try out a centaur, as I would have liked. Now there are plenty of systems that allow for the more “unusual” character races.

      Thanks for the insight into what was going on with my temporary immersion. I wrote more on the ‘essay’ though I may just have to turn it into a kind of auto-biography as it’s all first-person and I still have plenty of ground to cover. Right now, I’m off to eat and do a little editing and.or writing of the other story 🙂

  3. As you can well imagine I share many of the same desires and concerns as you do. I have frequently made the effort to imagine exactly how it would be to physically become a centaur.

    I remember reading one short story that dealt with the reality of becoming a centaur and the fact that you wouldn’t be able to be housed in a centaur body without either intrinsically knowing or learning how to operate the body first. The brain has to be set to manage extra limbs. Without the proper neural pathways a person suddenly occupying a centaur body would find themselves paralyzed, unable to move the extra set of legs and the hindquarters.

    I can relate to this to some degree because, after the heart attack I had at age 49, I was strapped to a bed and placed in a drug-induced stupor for more than 2 weeks. When I came out of the “coma” I had to relearn how to walk. It doesn’t take long for a person to lose physical skills if they remain unused. This would be true for any disabled person.

    We frequently imagine physical transformation through magical means. However, I have yet to encounter any real transformative magic in this so-called real world. It may indeed exist on parallel planes and leak through into our collective unconsciousness, but magic has yet to establish a beachhead wherein any of us are significantly altered. (At least not to my knowledge.) Of course, I welcome the idea that controllable magic could become an inherent attribute among advanced humans. Though nothing like the idea of wizards and muggles set forth in the Harry Potter books. That implies the idea of “special and separate” and sounds like grounds for prejudice and superiority to me.

    I prefer to imagine that upon leaving this plane there is a greater chance of either returning to centaur form or taking it on consciously for the first time. I certainly have no desire to return to this material world with its persistent war mongering and struggles for power and greed. (The Killer Monkey Men leave a lot to be desired.)

    I first encountered Bill Monroe’s “Journeys Out of The Body” when I was 21 and had high hopes that I would be able to learn to consciously “travel” they way he did. Despite years of effort and practice it never happened. I did experience lucid dreaming, but never was able to control its occurrence. Now with serious sleep apnea just being able to get sufficient rest is a real problem. So techniques that others might accomplish are beyond my abilities.

    You would think that someone as centaur obsessive as I am would frequently dream of centaurs to some degree, but it has rarely ever happened. I do remember my dreams and they are vivid but my mind (and soul?) have other ideas about what I need to go over and/or learn in my sleeping minutes.

    I have had concerns about going off the end mentally regarding this imagining of being really centaur. I don’t think it would be all that grand to become enfeebled and sit in a rest home drooling and wetting myself while my mind was off playing imaginary centaur. I also don’t think it would be a good idea to experiment with mind-altering substances and create a vivid fantasy of centaurhood that existed only as a construct in a warped mind.

    However, actors immerse themselves in playing roles successfully, so I see no reason why any reasonably well-adjusted individual cannot do the same. I believe that the more you can experience something the more real it is for you. Why can that be acceptable on the stage but not in real life?

    You have to follow your own path. As Joseph Campbell said, “The well trodden path is not yours.” I don’t see any reason why your path cannot be trodden with four imaginary hoofs rather than two truly limiting feet.

    Maybe we will meet at a fork in the way someday.

    Cheers,
    Greg


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