Posted by: kentauros | June 24, 2010

A Centaur’s Soul


The title above is an allusion to what I consider to be my spirit or a greater portion of it. I use the term “otherkin” in reference here to what I see in my spirit at some level. This is not a label I take lightly. I don’t expect most to believe it, much less consider that it’s anything but crazy. Yet, there it is, in print, an admission. Take it however you like. I take it as a Truth I cannot deny, no matter how much I question it, and I do doubt it quite often!

A few major things have happened where I feel the connection to the centaur form. The most prominent are dreams, and then where the centaurs have shown up in my life, figuratively speaking. Until this past year, I hadn’t thought about it, but I was ‘exposed’ to liking them from an early age.

Most people today don’t know of the old cartoon “The Mighty Hercules” from 1963. It’s not the Disney cartoon of a similar name. As a cartoon, The Mighty Hercules wasn’t that memorable to me save for one of the main characters: Newton the centaur. Although I can remember mimicking Hercules’ call at the end of the cartoon (“Olympia!”), Newton was still my favorite. At that age, who was I to criticize his incessant repeating of his lines as anything but fun and funny?

I must say that my preference of the Newton character never went deep as the connection does now. These are just the beginnings. Some otherkin feel the connection right away, while for the rest it is a lifelong process. I fall into the latter category. It has taken decades to get to this point.Centaurs pretty well vanished from my view after that cartoon and I can’t think of any that showed up until much later. When I got into playing D&D in the mid-70s, centaurs were considered “monsters” and never a character race available for play. That has changed in recent years, thankfully.

Around this same time-period, I read some books on what was then called astral projection and now regarded as “Out of Body Experiences” or OBE for short. Something was triggered within by simply reading these books and I began having spontaneous OBEs. Even to this day, they are always spontaneous. Yet, I will always cherish those early experiences and where it led. There’s more about the significance of this later.

I had learned photography in high school, too, and used those skills with my enlarger to help me ‘draw’ centaurs from various sources. That is, take a photo of a horse and a person, then project the images and trace. Not ‘true’ art, but it had its uses.

Those drawings still did not make that deep connection to centaurs as exists now. Gaming was a continuing part of my college/university life, leading me to new friends and similar interests. One of them was a gamer that had developed a new system, including centaurs as player characters. I was in heaven! At least I was until my character made a non-lethal mistake and got booted out of the game. I can’t remember how things went for the group after that as there were other things going on in my life, too. Such as the dreams that had begun sometime before this fortunate gaming system discovery. There was also the publishing of the comic book “The Dreamery” that included many of the early Stinz comics (excuse me, “drawn books”) of Donna Barr.

My first centaur-dream left an indelible impression on my psyche. I was no stranger to lucid dreams by then, having had a few magical adventures that were just as impressive as the centaur dream. However, the others didn’t have that distinctive connection, or not so thought-provoking. For the most part and some twenty-odd years later I can still ‘feel’ what it was like to be a centaur in that dream. Most of the details come to mind when I think about it. I’ve had centaur-dreams since then that are mostly forgotten, either because the ‘novelty’ had worn off or because they were not as significant as that first one.

What happened in the context of the dream is inconsequential to what feelings it brought. Never before had I been in a form other than human. The ability to move extra legs just like a horse and without thinking about it keeps me thinking about how the human mind can do such a thing. To many of you, that’s all that has happened here. I’m confusing the ability of the human mind to recreate the complexity of a human having four legs and moving them properly without falling down in a tangled mess of legs and hooves.

However, I contend that a connection was opened in that dream, to a life in some other dimension or world, where I lived as a centaur. Subsequent meditations on the subject have led me to what that life was like, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

One thing about my spiritual ideas, both back then as now, was that they were still evolving. With the presence of my spontaneous OBEs and a growing interest in that which was designated “New Age”, I started reading the books of Robert Monroe. The first book took me a while to finish, because it’s a dry and clinical record of every OBE he ever had up to that point. Once I finished it, however, I sought out the second book and more information on their institute. That led to taking their “Gateway” series of home-study, further developing my OBE and meditation skills.

Sometime later I read part of a book, I think called “The Fringes of Reason” about ‘weird’ groups like the Monroe Institute. It included the technique for getting to a higher level than taken with the Gateway program, something taught in subsequent series. I figured out how to do it myself, though I doubt I got the synchronization of my brain at the same level as their binaural beat technology. Still, I made a breakthrough of my own.

As I recall, this was to get to a level designated Level 27. The home-version of the Gateway series only takes one to Level 12 So, I managed to get myself to a level more than double what I’d been taught, and I must say, it certainly felt much higher than normal. I can’t say now what I was supposed to expect or do at that level; I am thinking it was to ask for your Spirit Guide(s) to show or to learn was their names. I know the first few times I got nothing other than a good meditative high.

My first Spirit Guide finally made an appearance, in human form and I got a name a couple of months later: Asrial.

Okay, I know most of y’all are going to mispronounce that, so here’s the proper pronunciation, even if names aren’t that important to Spirit. They go by what I term an “energy signature” and once you know that, you don’t need a name. But back to the pronunciation: Ahs’ree-All. Make sure that S is an s-sound and not a z-sound. That would be “Azrial” and it just ain’t the same!

When I first saw her, she wore one of those “gowns of Light” as it did seem to glow. It was white, her skin a creamy flesh-tone and black hair to her waist, falling in rivulets. My visuals are less than others that get to see their Guides. I don’t even know the color of her eyes, what her face really looks like and so forth. That will take more meditation and it still hasn’t come to me.

What I can say is that she was all human back then. The exact moment I came to know her as a centaur, I cannot say. I can describe her centaur form to an extent, such as the medium-sized body, white coat with black mane, tail and some feathering over her black hooves. All of it’s as wavy-curly as her hair, making for a nice balance overall.

I did question seeing her as a centauress back then, but don’t now. She’s never human any more, so maybe that was more of a transition in my visions or what I would accept initially.

Thanks to having more and more lucid centaur dreams, both as one and just a human among them, I started to see myself in meditations as one. As I got into the regularity of it, I developed a personal ‘place’ to exist while focusing.

My personal ‘place’ is of low rolling hills, native grasses like you would have found on the original plains of North America, with water oak and live oak trees clumped around the few sources of water, like in the gullies. Pretty boring to most people, but I find a beauty in it unique to me. Simplicity is sometimes best.

My meditations into those plains have allowed me to develop more of my connection with my inner-centaur. Asrial is almost always there, guiding and helping me to ‘see’ that other life. Here is where any one of us would wonder how much is ‘real’ and how much is just ‘fantasy’ or wishful thinking. I still don’t know for sure one way or another. It will take even more meditation to validate its reality.

This all leads to the introduction of my second centaur-Guide, Hans.

He came to me in another ‘lucid’ dream, one that was unlike any of the lucid ones, even my first centaur dream. Only one other dream was like it in intensity and overall feel. That had me as a big draft horse in some field, the only other time now that I think about it where I wasn’t human. Both that dream and the one where I met Hans were not the least bit ‘dream-like’. Both felt absolutely real, as if I was in that reality as a horse, or the other when I was a human meeting a real centaur.

The one thing lacking from the horse experience was the almost overwhelming feelings of Love emanating forth. At first I misinterpreted and rejected it as homosexual love, but have since realized it was Love from Spirit. I cannot put the intensity of what I felt into words; nothing is adequate. I have never felt that kind of Love, whether when I met my first wife, or my very spiritual girlfriend. The concept of Twin Flames comes to mind.

I’ve recently learned that Twin Flames can come to us to usher in the love of our physical lives, to show us the way and guide us to them. I can see this now, especially with how I feel about my girlfriend, Maryanne. Hans and Asrial have pulled back, so to speak, in their presence within my meditations. They are still there, but their presence seems lessened, as if bringing the love of my life to me now was their bigger task. Certainly not their only task in my life, just the most important one now.

And here I am, up to the present, incorporating these concepts into my fiction-writing. Somewhere along the line, I’ll get published and we’ll see what I reap. Expect nothing, other than the odd hoof-print here and there.

“I can’t prove it, but I can say it.” -Stephen Colbert

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Responses

  1. An excellent account of OBEs and spirit guides, definitely. I firmly believe that the nonhuman beings who populate the “myths” we know so well exist in other dimensions which we can reach via meditation and OBEs.

    So glad to hear that you have been able to meet with your guides and learn more about your alternate existence. Looking forward to hearing more about it on your new blog!

  2. I salute you for your courage to go public, as it were, with your beliefs and experience. I also look forward to reading more.

    🙂

    • I echo the other sentiments of gratitude and encouragement!

      Dena

  3. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your experiences with us!

    Your story and site is wonderful and I look for ward to reading a lot more of your writings.

    As you know I have had some quite surreal experiences myself recently!


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